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#toolOfTheUniverse
The Kids Are All Right
24/July/2010
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 Synopsys
In The Kids Are All Right, comedic surprise is combined with poignant emotional truth in a funny, vibrant, and richly drawn portrait of a modern family. Nic and Jules (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore) are married and share a cozy suburban Southern California home with their teenage children, Joni and Laser (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson). Nic and Jules-or, when referred to jointly by Joni, "Moms"-gave birth to and raised their children, and built a family life for the four of them. As Joni prepares to leave for college, 15-year-old Laser presses her for a big favor. He wants Joni, now 18, to help him find their biological father; the two teenagers were conceived by artificial insemination. Against her better judgment, Joni honors her brother's request and manages to make contact with "bio-dad" Paul (Mark Ruffalo), an easygoing restaurateur. The kids find themselves drawn to the confirmed bachelor's footloose style-especially in contrast to Nic, a principled doctor who has long established their house rules. Jules, who has been looking to start a new career in landscaping, also strikes up a rapport with Paul. As Paul comes into the lives of the forthright four, an unexpected new chapter begins for them as family ties are defined, re-defined, and then re-re-defined. Directed by Lisa Cholodenko (High Art, Laurel Canyon).
(Synopsys from Landmark Theaters.
Our Thoughts
Aside from the obvious, I think the big lesson that we can learn from Nic, Jules and the kids is about relationship.
Jules broke a taboo and the rest of the family, in the self-righteous, judgmental attitude typical for us in such a situation, severely punished her for her "crime".
For us watching form the outside it is easy to observe that is it is not "Jules' crime" that is threatening the harmony in the family and killing everybody's happiness, but another member's way of treating everybody else. However, since this behavior is not defined as a "no-no" by society, it has been going on for years. And although the family members are sick and tired of it, it has never been constructively addressed as the serious issue that it is, and there has never been a real, appropriate consequence for the perpetrator.
When Jules - emotionally dead, stripped of all self-worth, derived of appreciation and starved of real affection (not the played kind, or the one that is used to manipulate the other - she got plenty of those!) - finds herself in a situation that she should have found herself many years ago, the reaction of the others is swift and hard - exactly as defined by us for when this taboo is broken.
Suddenly, instead of dealing with the real problem, everybody is focusing on Jules' crime. And the dysfunction continues...
For us observers it is clear to see that Jules' crime was the natural consequence of the real problem, and that is is only the reaction of the others that is really threatening to break up the family.
We can see, how following these outdated behavior-schemes does not help at all to improve that kind of situation. The movie beautifully displays the irony that the only one really working on keeping the family together is the one who is accused of breaking it.
To me, The Kids Are All Right is another reminder for us to start questioning and rethinking outdated, ineffective and counter-productive attitudes, so we can replace them with something that reflects our state of enlightenment, awareness and understanding.
Links
Landmark Theaters:
Official Website:
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